2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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