Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
