lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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