Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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