Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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