you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
