god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
