The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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