I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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