imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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