I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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