i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize