can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
