i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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