i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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