I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
