Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
