Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
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