He asked to "fluff my boner.."
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
