i was rollin on her like bob the builder
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize