I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
