So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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