Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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