My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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