He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
