bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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