mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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