After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
