I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
my sisters under your porch take her home
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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