my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just gargled with NyQuil
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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