Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
