# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
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