dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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