i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
