Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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