you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
