Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
