i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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