you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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