I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
