i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
