New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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