her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
