It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
