I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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