Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
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