the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
