$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
