I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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