By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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