why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
