Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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