brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
