OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
