Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Nicole vs. Life
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
