You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
