it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
