they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize