I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
