I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
