We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
