I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
