How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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