dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
