how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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