If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
