Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Is it penis luge time yet?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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