Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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