You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
