dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
